It was cool evening of May 23, 2013; the second last day of my May Minimester of 2013 as I was taking Statistics class of Maymester at TCC south campus. This is my personal; I used to suffer and panic during the last final week/days of every semester because I am smart in procrastination. Overall days in Texas, during summer, used to be pretty hot, but that Thursday evening was pretty calm and silent. The week, from Monday, it was raining, and the greenery after spring, was smiling with the rain. I really can experience the blessed weather of Fort Worth Texas by my every sense, and thank God for everything.
I was really busy with 'MyMathLab'; I need to finish all the home works and remaining quiz online within the midnight of 23th. I was practicing to construct confidence intervals, test the Z & t score(s), and test the hypothesis whether the statistical evidences support or reject the null hypothesis. The probability was easy stuff for me, I was enjoying. In the meanwhile, Mr. Prem (fictitious name), my friend came to my apartment; it was about 8 pm in the evening, when he entered my room. He looks different than what he usually used to be. The enthusiastic and energetic face was charmless, with absence of glowing hope. He used to visit me sometimes in months (especially weekends). It used to be my pleasure in his every visit.
Prem used to discuss about the literature, our future, and about the responsibilities what we can take over for the development of our community and ourselves. Since a long time he has not visited me because he knows I'm busy with my college stuffs. I've not informed him about my Maymester, so he visited me thinking that now-a-days I should be free as Spring classes are over. To well come my friend in my home is my hospitality though I don't have anything special to offer him as the hospitality.
He didn't talked as usual like planning programs, discussing news and hot issues around us, but I saw inside him through his face that he has something to share which is ruining him. On my side, I was worried with my finals, because I need to complete all the remaining home works, and the next day I need to be ready for the final exam of my Maymester. I tried to focus on myself, but his presence and his unnoticed facial expressions compelled me to learn about him.
I asked him, "What's going on dude? Today, you looks different, are you all right?"
He answered, "I'm okay. I saw you are busy, I will visit you again this weekend."
"Oh! No, my friend, I'm always like this; every time I look like busy, but most of time I will be free." Though I know I don't have time to seat and chat, for these two days, every second is very important, but I knew this time is more important for him from my side.
He tried to avoid my question, "It's better for you to be concentrated with your course for your final." He added, “I don't want to disturb you."
But I insisted on my questions, I knew, now if he didn't answer me, it will disturb me more.
"Let’s take some coffees, and talk more." I added, "It will also help me to remain late night for my study." I tried to make the situation easy.
Now, I saw him in good position. "Ok! Just give me few minutes. I came to you expecting that you might give good suggestion for the situation I'm facing." He tried to make himself easy. "Please take it easy, and it's my private life case. It should not be in public."
I swore him, "Okay man, and don’t worry about it. Now say what the problem is."
"Here's my story situation in short." He started.
"You know, I am working with ATC-GENCO Company at warehouse. That's not great deal, but matter is I am in love with a female co-worker since three months. She is new employee in the warehouse. We use to work together, share our stuffs at work and talk about each other. I am in love with her like the 'first sight love', but now I knew I love her more than myself." He stopped and breathe deep.
I got inquisitive, "then what's the problem? Did she break the relation?"
"No, that's not. We have not reached so far."
"Then what? What’s wrong?"
"I used to be happy when she is with me, so I started dreaming my future with her. She became my dream girl; I decided myself that she's perfect to be my future life partner."
"I prepared myself, and get ready to propose her to be mine forever. As usual we met in the work place, and last time I asked her about her personal life because I thought before I propose her to be mine, I should learn about her.”
I appreciate his intuition, “You are right! You should know something about her before your relation changed into life partner.”
“Story got turned when she said she has a boyfriend whom she loves more than herself.” He breathe high and stopped. He asked himself, “Was I in one-sided love?” “If she doesn’t love me, why she used to share her so many private stuffs and internal feelings with me?”
“Oh, so bad! I’m sorry to learn about it.” I couldn’t say more than that.
I saw his both eyes were filled with shining water, and nose full of mucus.
He broke out, “I started loving more than my life, but she is in love with someone other, and she loves him more than herself.” He start weeping deep, “What’s this? What type of choice I made in this point of my life?”
I tried to control his volcanic emotions; I gave a hug, and rubbed his back with my consolations. I knew that the lady was right, and he was also right. He was not betrayed, neither deceived, nor abused, but he lost his dream; I can figure out what he exactly is experiencing in that situation. Sometimes right things don’t give justice to the people, instead kill the people’s emotions.
He tried his best to understand what I was talking about, suggested himself to be in control.
And at last he asked me, “After learning that lady loves someone more than her life, would it be good to make her know that I too love her more than that third person?” He added, “If I didn’t express my love for her, it might remain in me as tumor forever.” He also knows if he expresses his love to her after knowing her love-affairs, is to be like crazy stuffs. If he had proposed her before he learned about other part of her life, it would be like innocent mistakes. But now, it’s different…
“She has respect and dignity on me, and in response I too have to respect her and her choice, so I can’t express my selfish love and dream that I made to be with her.” He has great soul, I solute internally with regards.
I could not answer his last questions, as I was also dealing with the similar situations. I supposed it would be nice to forget his dreams about her, if he really wants her freedom and happiness with her choice. I can’t forget the moment a man cry in front of me for his un-born love. Still I’m thinking about him, “Does he need to express his love for her?”